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can i show you something? gentlemen’s night at zovo

December 9, 2011 in events

For some people the holidays begin with a Christmas tree garnished with ornaments and twinkling lights.  For me the holiday season begins with the first viewing of National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation.  I’ll assume that you’ve seen the movie because the idea that you haven’t is too ridiculous to entertain.  When I mention the Griswald’s absurdly large Christmas tree, aunt Bethany’s Pledge of Allegiance grace, or the supersonic sled ride you probably giggle to yourself just thinking about it.  There is one scene however that stands above the rest, you know which one I’m talking about.

Clark Griswald (Chevy Chase) walks into a department store to do his Christmas shopping, and takes a detour at the lingerie counter manned by the beautiful Mary (Nicolette Scorsese).  Clark proceeds to carry on a parapraxis laden conversation, saying nipple instead of nippy, and hooter when he meant to say hotter.  It climaxes when Mary shows Clark what a particular thong looks like on her.  Ask any man and they’ll probably say that not only is this their favorite scene but also a fantasy, it certainly is for me.

You can imagine my excitement when my wife and I were invited by a friend to Zovo Lingerie Gentlemen’s Night last year.  It was touted as an evening of fun and games with drinks and models.  It sounded like a good time so we decided to make a night of it.  It turned out to be more then expected.  There were prizes being won, drinks being poured, and models strutting about the store in nothing but their underwear.  My wife had to turn to me and cartoonishly close my gaping mouth.  The models were literally approaching men and asking them if they could try something on for them.  This was as close to a real life Christmas Vacation moment as would ever exist.

The idea was genius, I saw man after man practically float up to the register and whip out their credit cards to buy beautiful lingerie for their wife, girlfriend, mistress, or possibly even themselves.  What other store would go to such lengths to satisfy their customers?  Of course this isn’t just for the men, the underlying idea of the event is that men will get a better sense of what their significant other would like and enjoy, thanks to the models and employees.

Here’s the part where I tell you that the Seventh Annual Gentlemen’s Night at Zovo will be this Wednesday, December 14th from 7pm-9pm.  There will be four models in varying sizes, prizes and an all around festive time.  This year Zovo has been handing out wish lists for customers to fill out and give to their gentlemen as a “hint.”  Wives/girlfriends/whatever your attachment might be, send your man to Gentlemen’s night (they’ll thank you for it), or go together (they’ll also thank you for it).  Men, feel free to come on your own and surprise your lady friend with some lingerie that you know is sexy.

Additionally on Tuesday, December 13th from 7pm-9pm Zovo will be hosting a Ladies Night, complete with bra fittings, tarot card readings, and fun to be had by all.  I can speak from experience (having witnessed my wife’s fitting) that the Zovo employees are top notch bra fitters.  A certain national lingerie brand that has a certain secret to tell can’t hold a candle to the service you’ll get at Zovo.  This might also be a good night to fill out your wish list.

I wouldn’t sit here and write up this article if I didn’t really mean that it’s a lot of fun, at the very least the most unique event you’ll attend between now and Christmas.  If you attend only one Holiday party this year make it the Zovo Ladies Night, Gentlemen’s Night or both.  My wife and I will be there and this year I’m hoping to hear a model say, “ I’m wearing something similar, see you can’t see the line.”  And then I will say “You can’t see the line can you Russ,” Russ in this case is my wife.  Seriously this night is a lot of fun, do yourself and your significant other a favor and check it out.

Ladies Night: Tuesday December 13th 7-9

Gentlemen’s Night: Wednesday December 14th 7-9

Both events will be held at the Zovo Store in the University Village shopping mall.

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christmas nostalgia in your stocking

December 7, 2011 in lists

It was almost a year ago that I wrote my second blog article ever: Christmas Mediocrity.  It explored the “holiday effect”, when a movie can be awful and still find a path to production for no reason other than its featured holiday.  This year I thought I would write a companion piece to that article where I will delve a little further into why we love the Christmas movies we do.

Let me begin with some of the truly awful movies I’ve seen already this year.  Last weekend I watched Christmas with the Kranks, adapted by Chris Columbus, from a book by John Grisham of all people.  There’s a decent movie trapped somewhere inside this mess, it just puts too much stress on your suspension-of-holiday-disbelief.

Christmas with the Kranks is Citizen Kane when compared to the other movie I watched-Lucky Christmas.  After literally committing career suicide in Showgirls, Elizabeth Berkley makes a triumphant return in this Hallmark original.  In the movie she plays a mother “down on her luck” living in an attic with her young son.  After winning the lottery, the car containing the ticket is stolen.  As “luck” would have it, she unknowingly begins to fall in love with the car thief.  He has a change of heart and mails the ticket back to her.  Of course she eventually finds out he stole the car and breaks up with him ( but doesn’t call the police.)  Against all odds he wins her back and manages to get her to apologize to him for not trusting him. It’s okay, he only stole her fucking car!

As the Holiday season progresses I’m sure I will indulge myself with plenty of Christmas dung heaps, though Lucky Christmas is a hard one to beat.  Assuming we accept the premise that bad movies are acceptable as long as they’re Christmas themed. These movies fail when it comes to their lack of nostalgia.  There is little to nothing that reminds you of a warm hearted Christmas, not a feeling, or a mood, or even a color pallet that takes you back to a fond memory.

Here are some of my favorite Christmas movies that really hit a bullseye with the nostalgia.  I don’t guaranty that all or any of these are good movies, but I can guaranty you that I will be watching these no less than three times each.

Charlie Brown Christmas

Any Christmas list that does not include this movie is seriously flawed.  This is the very definition of Christmas nostalgia.  Unless your family was brutally murdered right before your very eyes on Christmas Eve while Charlie Brown Christmas played in the background, it’s impossible not to have fond memories associated with it.

 Elf

While I’ve enjoyed this movie since it was released in 2003, it didn’t become a staple for me until last year.  Will Ferrell as an elf man-child is so lovable that it nullifies the presence of one of my least favorite actresses, Zooey Deschanel.  Bob Newhart and Ed Asner (the best Santa of any movie) are real delights too.  When it comes to capitalizing on nostalgia, Elf wins brownie points for parodying the Rankin Bass Rudolph.

Rankin Bass Rudolph

It wasn’t until I got this movie on DVD that I realized that this is the definitive version of the Rudolph story, as well as a few other classic songs.  It’s hard to imagine a time before Rudolph but there was one… in the 1950’s.  Despite it’s overt sexism and seriously mixed messages, just seeing those crudely animated puppets jerkily bouncing across the screen takes me right back to that warm comfy Christmas place in my heart.

Love Actually

This movie is what I Love New York, Valentines Day, and the forthcoming New Years Eve movies aspire to be.  It’s the masterpiece of the genre.  The film embodies the six degrees of separation story line with expert precision.  A star studded cast of exceptional actors, compelling story lines, and genuine humor make this movie special.  Unlike the other movies on this list, it doesn’t fully depend on being a Christmas movie, the fact that it is makes it that much better, (a good watch any time of year).

Muppet Christmas Carol

Full disclosure, I love the story of Dickens’ A Christmas Carol.  Whether it be Mickey Mouse and Scrooge McDuck, Patrick Stewart, George C. Scott, Jim Carey, or in this case Kermit and Michael Caine (the best Scrooge).  Though the Muppets had a rash of unwatchable movie in the ’90’s, this movie ranks right up there with their earlier seminole works.  You know the story without having  to watch a second, it’s Kermit, Gonzo, Rizzo, Fozzy and company at the helm that make that okay.

Prancer

Once you’ve established that a film is Holiday themed it’s impossible to see it through any other filter.  That is what makes it hard to determine if the movie is good or bad.  Prancer is a perfect example of this.  I think it’s a good movie but it might be awful.  I’m just blinded by the heartwarming story of a young girl who finds an injured Prancer (one of Santa’s actual Reindeer) and nurses him back to health, then has to get him back to Santa for Christmas.  This was a staple in elementary school for its G rating and light religious stance.  I didn’t care much for it back then but I love it now.

Christmas Vacation

I said I’ll watch each of these movies at least three times.  Well, I’ll watch this one around thirty, sometimes on a loop.  Technically this isn’t a great movie, it’s the third in a series of Vacation movies that constantly recycle the same tired jokes.  I just can’t not laugh my ass off when I watch it.  I can remember seeing this movie when I was young and very clearly thinking: “wow, they really nailed Christmas with this one.  That’s just what it’s like.”  I truly love it with all my heart. And though I know he’s supposedly a jerk in real life, Chevy Chase has always felt like a father figure to me.

 Honorable mention

A Christmas Story (A great movie, just not one of my favorites.)

The Grinch Who Stole Christmas (Its exclusion might constitute as sacrilege to some.)

The Family Stone (I know, I know.)

The Santa Clause (Two and three left a real bad taste in my mouth.)

The Christmas Toy (Pre-Toy Story.)

Emmet Otters Jug Band Christmas (Pure nostalgia.)

The Harry Potter movies (I can’t explain it, they just remind me of Christmas.)

Any Adaptation of Charles Dickens, A Christmas Carol

I’m willing to give any Christmas movie a free pass on quality.  It’s when they tap into the nostalgia of Christmas that I really become a sucker.  You’d think that concept would be an easy one to master, given the amount of Holiday crap out there. However, it appears to be pretty challenging.

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